This is Why I Love Them

Scenario: Facebook, 5:57 am. Me; Been awake all night, and on a tired-high. Best friend; Just got up for school, done eating breakfast to find me on facebook chat. Hilarity ensues. (My friends, This is Why I Love them)


Me: POKES
pokety poke poke?? 5:57am

Christina: lol sorry eating breakfast! 5:58am

Me: O.o
Oh wait nvm :3 5:58am

Christina: whats the face for pokey? 5:58am

Me: For what? 5:58am

Christina: get it poke-y 5:59am

Me: ...I don't get it TT-TT
What do you mean the face? 5:59am

Christina: O.o
that face
whats it for/ 5:59am

Me: Oh.
Well I thought it was 5:30
But it's actually almost 6 6:00am

Christina: ah! 6:00am

Me: So I was like... you're having breakfast
at almost 5 in the morning 6:00am

Christina: it is 6 6:00am

Me: Therefore
O.o
It is now xD 6:00am

Christina: lol i catch a bus this early ugh1 6:00am

Me: It was 5:58 when you said it though xD
What time does your bus come? 6:00am

Christina: 6:45 6:01am

Me: Blah.
I would much rather scooter to school <3<3
daydreams
morningdreams 6:01am

Christina: yep and school starts at 7:15
lol 6:01am

Me: WHAT THE FRENCH TOAST?
Like, classes actually start then? 6:02am

Christina: yep... -_- 6:02am

Me: That's ridonkulous.
and there's no reason for it
Adults don't even work that early 6:02am

Christina: i mean we get out at 1:45 but
still... 6:02am

Me:So it's not like you need to practice
being someplace at 7:15 for your daily life,
you know
So you should start at 9.
That's what i've decided.
School should start at 9.
Ridiculousness. 6:03am

Christina: YESS thats what ive been telling
everyone all along! 6:03am

Me: Haha you should start a rally.
Tell the teachers. >:3 6:04am

Christina: lets start a riot
a riot 6:04am

Me: Although, I hope you realize i'm only
being facetious 6:04am

Christina: lets start a riot 6:04am

Me: lol
dances
dance dance! We're falling apart to half time6:04am

Christina:i know but my sis doesnt start till
9:30 6:05am

Me: Again.
Ridiculousness.
Ludicrous.
Crazy.
Loco.
Unbelievable. 6:05am

Christina: caramelldansen doesnt sound the
same in english... :(:( 6:05am

Me: Shame.
Shame shame
shame
Shame-ity shame
Shame.
cough
shame
Anyway
But. 6:06am

Christina: lol 6:06am

Me: It wouldn't... cause it's in a different
language o.o
Just so you know 6:07am

Christina: i imagined a little angry
leprechaun saying all that shame... O.o 6:07am

Me: La la la la la, la la la la la, Elmo's
world... 6:07am

Christina: O>O 6:07am

Me: SO I'M A LEPRECHAUN NOW?
I'M NOT A MIDGET
NOR AM I FAIR SKINNED AND GINGER 6:07am

Christina: yesh ur a blight indian
leprechaun
ALE! 6:08am

Me: AYE!
CLOVER!
GREEN!
REHEAD FRECKLE SHAMROCK 6:08am

Christina: LUCKY CHARMS!!!!! 6:09am

Me: ST. PATRICK!
MAGICALLY DELICIOUS!
CONAN OBRIEN 6:10am

Christina: lol 6:11am

Me: Dude... this is the weirdest conversation
with you i've had in a long time... 6:11am

Christina: lol when ever i get on ur never
there... :(:( 6:11am

Me: Cause it's morning xD
I guess i'm just this weird in the mornings
xD 6:12am

Christina: and most of the afternoon from
like 3:00- 6:30 6:12am

Me: Really?
I'm usually on then though... 6:12am

Christina: yeah i steal my madres laptop... 6:12am

Me: Meheheheh.... same here :):) 6:13am

Christina: lol 6:13am

Me: Well, I need to let you get ready for school
and I have to grab some noms. 6:14am
BUT I LOVE YOU LIKE A LEPRECHAUN LOVES THE
RAINBOW 6:14am

Christina: get noms!
and gold 6:14am

Me: DARN IT now you've got me wanting Lucky Charms xD
I love you Cree-Cree! 6:14am

Christina: lol and i love you like a fish love water!
lol sorry! 6:15am

Me: loves* :3
Haha byeee

I feel like I want to be with some friends right now. I'm feeling really sick of all of this crap going on, and seriously every time I don't have a friend over I feel really alone. I've never felt this deep in a hole before, but I really feel like I can't get out right now. Not right now at least, and heck, i've tried. I really miss God, and having a somewhat together family, and being in school and getting to get out of the house a bit. I feel like I want to give up.

/End of rant.

Faith like Potatoes.

I was flipping through channels desperately trying to find something good to watch, when I saw a TV show on the guide called "Faith Like Potatoes." Curious, I turned to it, only to have that rainbow colored error screen with the annoying beeping sound that you get when a channel doesn't work. I'm deeply confused. That is all.

I feel like i'm falling.

I really, really don't want to, but I feel like i'm getting far from God right now... Things seem like they're too difficult, and I feel really, really lost. I know He's there, He always is. I'm the one who's running away, but I feel like i'm trying to figure out how to get back on the path to God that I was running on before. I can't sleep at all anymore. It's not that I necessarily want my dad (Not talking about my Holy daddy this time, I mean my biological dad) to be here, but I really didn't want things to work out like this.

I'm scared.

When I think of home, I think of a place where there's love overflowing

Right now my life is a bit of an emotional roller-coaster ride. I'm waiting for this all to smooth out so I can go back to my cheery, random blog posts again. At least I have this blog to vent on... So let's see.

We've been looking at houses in Jacksonville and in St. John's county, but haven't really gotten anything nailed down for sure yet... I REALLY don't want to move that far out from Jax though. It's too far from my friends. It's hard to even call the girls i'm talking about friends because they're family to me and I don't like being away from them...

My dad is still in jail. I don't know when his trial is yet, but I get the feeling that he's going to be charged as guilty, and I don't know what to do, so... *cough*

The first half of today was SWELTERING hot, then the weather changed it's mind half-way through the day and started to rain. I stayed inside, and I actually played piano for three hours straight. It was pretty awesome actually. For all of those three hours I just felt the music and it completely cleared my thoughts of all the craziness going on.

I love music so much. How it can just make us drift away for a bit so we don't have to worry about our lives for a couple minutes or so. How it tells a story, brings you into the life of another for just a bit so you can experience a different world, and feel the bass pounding with your heartbeat or the treble of a piano trill ring right from the top of your head and maybe glissando right down through your toes. Or how when you hear a big band crescendo it just gives you goosebumps and makes your hair stand on end, or when a violin whines a soft tune it can lull you to sleep and clear your head of the thoughts that are running laps around your brain and teasing you awake. That's what I felt today when I played. That's what it does for me, anyway. Hmm... this makes me feel like writing an entire blog post on music. :)

I don't know if I ever explained what Inu to Ongaku means. In case anyone was wondering, it's japanese for Dogs and Music. So the title of my blog is "Dogs and Music:: My Loves" Which is pretty much true. They're two of the many things I care for most. So they're my loves. Just thought I would clear that up :)

Gosh, how do my blog posts always end up on a completely different subject than they started?

It's getting super late. Later dearies.
-Hachiko

So.

I can't deal with this on my own anymore.

No subject.

Blog blog blog, blog blog blog, blogitty blog blog blog. Why am I so flippin hyper at this hour? Why am I up this late (early?) Why do I feel like watching FLCL? I shan't. But I feel like it. Oh yeah, I know how to answer this question. Because i'm trying to think of things to clear my thoughts, which happen to keep me up, and FLCL is the most random spastic anime ever, and it gives you a brain fart, or a mini brain explosion, therefore there's no way of thinking of anything else. Though, I gave up anime, so i'm not going to go there. Don't worry.

What will I do today? Hmmm. What did I do yesterday/earlier? Oh, I feel like I should say. I had this fantastic cookout yesterday night. At my friends church. It was awesome. I got to see quite a few people there who I haven't seen in awhile. I missed them dearly, I really did, and we got together and prank called a friend of mine. It was pretty epic. A new girl there I had just met said she wanted to prank call someone and I offered my friend Mahoney. Mwahaha, hahaha, hahaha.

So here's how it all went down. She used her phone and called my friend, saying that she was Osama Bin Laden. And a woman. And I was Osama's wife. And I was mad at her because she was one of my wives and she was talking to a man on the phone (who was really my friend) and I snatch the phone away and tell him to stay the frick away from my wife and to give our family back our camel... it was a you had to be there kind of moment. But dang, it was funny. Why the heck am I typing so fast? Okay, well, I know you can't tell from where you're sitting, but the whole post so far only took me 4 minutes to type. I am jacked up right now. Like seriously. But not seriously seriously. I'm not high or anything, i'm not that type of girl. But DANG, when you're upset, taking a mixure of peanut butter and marshmallow fluff and eating it ALONE is NOT a good idea. I frigging can't stop moving. Oh look, make that 5 minutes. I think i'm starting to slow down now.

So at this moment, i'm wondering to myself, What is the meaning of life? But i'm also wondering, if I can make the longest blog post. Like, in the world. Probably not. I mean, you're probably already tired of reading. But heck, i'm not tired of typing, so stay or go i'll still be here! Okay, so let's start this off right. (Oh yeah, this is only the beginning baby.) I'm going to attempt to distract myself for the next 30 minutes so here I go. (Gawd, I never get to the point.)

So when I was younger, I used to write to keep myself entertained. Write lots of things. Stories, plays, music, but mainly lists. Yes, lists. I used to have all these things in journals, but those journals are long lost, probably somewhere in our dark cold attic, which is even colder than this freezing room. Holy bejeezus, why the heck didn't I turn off the AC? ... ... ...

Yep. Still too lazy.

Anywho, so my point here is i'm just going to try to search through those little compartments in my mind that still have those lists, and maybe make a few new ones along the way here...

***sparkle***Hachiko's lists:***sparkle***
Hachiko's List OF LISTS (HAHA I am THAT awesome)
Bucket List
Favorite Song List
Best friend list
List of words that make me think of other words.

I will update this list throughout this half hour as I see fit. (or as my brain grows more hazy. Remember, not on drugs people, on Nutter-fluffers.)

MAH Bucket List. (Yep, ALL MAHN(read:Mine, not man))
Climb a Tree (done it!)
Watch the sun rise
Watch the sun set (Done it!)
Kiss someone in the rain [funny how this seems to be on every girls's lists xD]
Kiss someone at all [like on the lips >> Awkward. Anyway]
Talk to someone on all night (Done it!) [haha thanks Christina]
Go to California
Go to Anime Expo in California (Don't want to do this anymore really)
Have a friend for life
Go to a public school
Go skinny dipping [Don't ask, okay? It's my list]
Be in love WITH someone [Not just a one-way deal]
Publish a book
Climb a mountain (Done it quite a few times now :D)
Go to Japan
Learn Japanese
Go on a roadtrip around the U.S. (This is still in planning stages, but it's happenin'!)

I'm sure there are more, but i'll add to this eventually... I should probably write these down somewhere again, but hey, at least it's here


My best friend list (I.E. All the people i've considered best friends in my life. Starting from preschool.Yes, in that order. P.S/ I promise i'm not some person who doesn't take friends very seriously. That's not the reason why there are so many, it's just that many of these special people have moved... so...)
Alexa (?? Don't remember last name)
Bridget (Ummm Jones?)
Kayla Dugger
Erin Geiersbach <=This one was particularly special to me :3
Krista Hill
Sydney Porter
Possibly Devin Staples. Still don't know at the moment, but she sure has gotten me through some hard times.

*waves arms dramatically* LISSSST NUMBAHHH THWEEEEE

Favorite songs List:
Blue by Eiffel 65.

Okay. Now i'm tired. I'm doing the rest of this tomorrow when I have more energy... OR maybe... I could get some more Nutter fluffers. Hmmmm... Should I...? *runs off to kitchen*

And it takes some work to make it work, it takes some bad for satisfaction.

It's freezing in here. I seriously don't know why I don't just go up and turn the AC off. Laziness is not my friend, but it clings to me like and overobsessive RPattz fangirl. I'm definitely not one of those. Not at all.

So, in other news... I need a friend. Well, I don't know if anyone truly needs a friend, but I really want one. Yes, I want one a 3 in the morning. This is the kind of odd stuff I go through. The clingy overobsessive RPattz fangirl sort of thing. I need to be clinging to Jesus right now, but to tell you the truth, without YouthQuake every week i'm just not feeling it right now. I don't want to admit it, but maybe admitting it and letting God take care of it will bring me back closer to Him.

Things are really hard right now. Truthfully I was going to come and rant on this blog about how things are to hard for me to even bear, but as i'm clearing my head a bit, they aren't. A bible verse comes to mind. "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."

...Goodness. I really was about to rant paragraph after paragraph but something about reading that verse calmed me down just now.

Well, i'm wishing everything is going well for my dad. Well, I know it isn't, but I hope that he gets what he needs and that something changes for him. Honestly. Anyway, my family has alot to work through right now. Like, ALOT to work through. But we'll make it. Praise God.

-Hachiko

I could really use a wish right now.

I can honestly say this is the hardest time i've ever had in my life. I know some servere struggles are about to come, so i'm just getting ready. It's gotten to the point where i've finally managed to be able to type this out without bursting into tears so here's the whole deal.

My dad's in jail. *breath* Okay, yeah, that was a little harder to type then I thought it was going to be. It all happened on Wednesday and my life has pretty much been turned upside down since then. It was surreal, one moment we were all lazing around the house, and suddenly my dad isn't home, and the handyman is working on the tile in the kitchen and talking with my mom and all of a sudden, police are knocking on our front door, and asking to search through our house and the handyman's got this "What the ****" look on his face, and they're asking him if he's my dad and they want to check all the rooms in the house and in that moment it occurs to me that my life just got flushed down the toilet. I apologize for the lack of proper punctuation and grammar in that run-on sentence. I'm going through a bit of a hard time at the moment.

Having normalcy back in my life is all that I can ask for right now. I really need help, but the stuff that happened over the course of the last week is incredibly hard to talk about. I haven't even told a soul in my church family about the whole situation and i'm having trouble even sleeping in this house right now. None of my friends even know, because so far i've been all smiles for them, but at least my blog is one place I can let things out since no one else reads this thing. xD

So aside from that, i'm not really comfortable in the house anymore. I've been kind of freaked out. I wasn't able to sleep for two nights in a row after that, and needless to say i'm not looking too pretty right now. We're planning on moving out of the house withing a couple of weeks, for many reasons but one being that no one really wants us in this neighborhood anymore. I don't know what happening between my parents. Maybe divorce, I don't know, but we're renting out the house this week, and moving as soon as possible. I can't even walk around the block without people giving me looks right now, because they know i'm the girl that came from THAT family. My only interaction with my neighbors since then has been running out to the car really quick to drive to church, and running back into the house. Our community is pretty small and close, and tucked away, you know? So if something happens, EVERYONE knows by the end of the day.

So there it is. I finally let my feelings out to a computer, since i'm too afraid to tell anyone else. xD (Gah, how pathetic do I sound right now?)

So anyway, about the subject of this post. I heard this song for the first time on the radio the other day, so I put it on my iPod and have been listening to it constantly pretty much since the whole deal. Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? I could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now...

-Hachiko

Glee. It's what I feel when I watch this show.

Glee. How I love you. How you brighten up my tuesday nights like the sun peaking over the dark horizon of the blackest night. *cough* Well, anyway, The last episode was so fantastically epic, it made me squee and swoon on my multicolored crocheted quilt. I haven't done that awhile! Glee going gaga was awesome, and I can't say I didn't love the small Edward-reference in the begining. I think I may type up a full review post on it tomorrow, but for now i'll write a couple short statements as my eyelids are starting to droop and that multicolored quilt is starting to look awfully inviting. :)

There are certain things that cannot be said in words. So only a picture can suffice.



There. Now if you haven't watched the episode yet, do it now. (You can watch it high-quality on fox.com or hulu if you were wondering.)

Lastly, I have one more thing. My fangirl haiku, to one of the lovely members of the glee club, entitled Ode to Kurt.

Kurt, when you sing out,
my heart always does the same.
Wonderful gay boy. <3

Sleep well everyone, and thanks for reading!

Ja ne,
-Hachiko

Change Me

I kinda don't know who I am right now. I guess i've been trying to find "me" recently without God's help. It's funny cause I sometimes here old people on TV talking about how they wish they could turn back the clock, but i'm 16 and that's how I feel. I really wish I was little again and my best friends were all I needed and I was good in school, and my dad talked to me. When if I cried I could lay with Taz on our warm carpet and cuddle him and everything would get better. Back when my family had enough money and my mom wasn't so stressed out and my sister so overworked.

I'm not ready to be a senior. It's not even that I think 'i'm not ready.' I'm just not. There's a bad case of senior-itis going around yet it doesn't seem like i'm going to catch it anytime soon. Everyone around me is so pumped for college, and i'm sitting here, holding on, thinking to myself "Wait! Please wait, let me get the childhood part done with first!" Gah, this is difficult. Meh, anyway, I don't know what else to say about that.

Hmmm... about wondering who I am. Well, the thing is I don't really know who I want to be... at some point I started being fake to cover up insecurities. People liked this fake part of me. I was glad. It was something they would accept. But I kept it up for so long, now i'm trying to remember which parts were genuine and which aren't. Truth be told I can't remember in the slightest. I should have never faked it in the first place. My true friends always loved the real me, and I don't know why I bothered trying to get anyone else's attention. Those don't really care either way. But now I have this front, a veneer that I can't seem to shake off, and my true friends don't care for that part either.

I miss them. I really wish I didn't pull away from them the way I did, cause I really regret it. When I hear family they're who I think of and I hope I didn't screw it all up.

I need to pray now, I know it, so I want to ask that I find the "me" that has God in it. One that's fearless, genuine, and not so afraid of getting hurt that it opens up and makes it possible to be loved. I want "me" to run straight to You, let go of the baggage and the covers and anything not genuine, and not be afraid to do it right in front of people, too. Change me.

Stuck In The Middle

Why am I? I've recently come to the realization that's i'm "in the middle" with all sorts of things. Honestly? It's starting to annoy me. Why did I have to be in the middle with school? In school from Kindergarten to second grade, homeschool from part of second grade to 3rd grade, school from 4th grade to part of fifth grade and back again to homeschool and it continues on. Maybe I would have liked to just be average in that aspect. Like most of the other kids were. Well, in either case usually they stuck to homeschool or public school or private school for awhile. Just one...?

Stuck in the middle with - that's right, i'm going there - race. Yeah, it usually doesn't bother me. I'm stuck in the middle. Black and white and little sprinkles of other things like a double-frosted cupcake. I don't even know why it bothers me tonight out of all nights... It just does. I've never really let it bother me before, but i'm just starting to wonder what it would be like to be just one. Just one... color? I know there's no one out there who's just one race, we all have a huge heritage and all that jazz, but I don't think you understand what I mean if you don't look it. Mixed. bi-racial. Whichever you prefer. I don't know... it's just different for me. People have been calling me black. I'm not. I would be proud to be black if I were, but um, I don't know if you've noticed, but i'm not white either. No, i'm not mexican, spanish, caucasian, african-american, whatever else you want to call me. I'm just me, so would you stop saying i'm what i'm not?

So yes, some people know i'm in the middle about some other things too. "Confused" is such an awkward way to put it. I'll refer to it as... only slightly unsure. I think that suits me better. Yes. I'm only slightly unsure about how i'm supposed to feel about certain people. I know i'm not making any sense, but if you know me, (and I mean you really know me) you'll know what i'm referring to.

Thank you blogger for giving me someplace to just say how I feel. This has been a hard night.

Ja ne, minna-san~
-Hachiko

So.... help.

Yep. This old blog has been sitting. Rotting away in a dusty corner for far too long. So here's how I want you to help. Give me one word. A topic. Any topic you can think of in one single word, and comment this post, and i'm going to have a word of the day. Whichever word I pick from the subjects is going to be what I post (rant) about that day. So pick a word, any word. I do have to admit, until more people subscribe and this blog becomes more popular, I may not get any comments to this, so the first few words I may look up on a word of the day app on Facebook or google or something. So.... please comment xD Thank you!

-Hachiko

Mobile

My cell plan FINALLY allows blogger mobile! w00t w00t! I'm sending my first blog from my phone. Only thing is the 160 character limit. Any way to get around it?

0_o....

What the french toast?? I haven't posted since last September... o.o Well, let's see... first of all. Happy new year, blog. It's been a long time. So far, new stuff I haven't posted about... I got a job! and then didn't have a job... and now I have a job again!! (Just fyi, I didn't get fired. I was a seasonal worker. People ask. ^_^) So things have changed quite a bit. I'm now happily teaching 4 students in piano, which was my mom's idea, but still is pretty awesome. I'm loving working with the kids. Before that I was working at a kid's clothing store called Justice, and i'm finding I prefer the piano lessons alot more xD Umm, I wrote a few new songs, but that's not out of the norm. :) Another thing, i'm now officially a red-head.... or a blonde. It depends on who you ask. But I say it's red. Blahhhh.... typing this blog feels all akward now. It's been too long. Meh, i'll get back into the swing of things soon.

Yeah so... Oh! This weekend was so awesome! My friend spent the weekend at my house and I took my radio outside and we lit sparklers and swirled them around and danced and twirled around the front yard to Lady Gaga. It was fantastic, except for the weird looks we got from a couple neighbors. Oh well. :3 After that night we went to church Sunday morning and saw "To Save A Life." If you haven't seen it, you need to. It's a movie about high school life and Christianity. After seeing it, people in my youth group made a stand, and after seeing the movie, we're trying to figure out ways to lead people to Christ, and not judge. I'm hoping we can all learn more from it.

lol, I dunno, I guess I didn't have alot to say tonight/this morning... but i'm sure when I have some tea and sugar in me I can put out a better blog. xD

Mate Ashita, Minna-san!! -<3